How to Handle the Heartbreak of a Close Colleague Leaving

How to Handle the Heartbreak of a Close Colleague Leaving Friendships at work are weird things. Theyre wonderful, but weird. You see your work friends  5 days a week for hours on end. Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. Your working day is bookended with their cheery hello  and goodbye. Each Friday you run eachother  through your weekend itinerary, and then  Monday is spent  mutually  moaning about it  being over. Mondayitis much? Yes. And it doesnt stop there. You and your work friends  will go to lunch together regularly, sit in long and boring management meetings together, chatter at work events, make coffees and teas for one another and support each other through stressful periods. Youll likely get to know a fair bit about their personal lives too; their partner; their kids; career aspirations and holiday plans. Youll quickly notice subtle changes  in their mood,  hair, weight, wardrobe, energy levels, motivation and performance. Yes, theyll  keep tabs on you, too. It goes even deeper than that. They are often the only ones who really understand your day-to-day  pressures; after all,  they share the same boss and internal frustrations. They are often your sounding boards and pillars of strength when it comes to staying motivated.  You even  watch TV series in synch so you can talk about it the next day. Everything is great and then all of a sudden, just like that, one  tells you theyve got a new job. Theyve just resigned, and thats it. They leave. No more Greys Anatomy gossip, no more work best friend.  How on earth are you supposed to move forward  from something  like this? Heres  what you have to do to get through: Be positive and congratulatory It shouldnt feel personal, but often it does. Youre allowed to feel upset, but you need to be positive for your colleague. Moving jobs can be a hugely stressful and emotional process, but the decision to resign is a big thing, and so its important to be happy and excited for them. Its likely that your colleague has been offered more money, a promotion or a role theyve wanted for a long time. Even if you feel theyre making a huge mistake, or cant help but worry about the repercussions of them leaving, its important to stay professional and not let your emotions get in the way of congratulating them. Take a break to collect your thoughts Im not suggesting doing a Houdini as soon as they tell you their news, but once the excitement of the announcement has died down, take yourself out for quick coffee or  a walk in the fresh air. Try to work through what this means logically its not the end of the world. Will it really  mean more work for you? If it does, know that it will be short-lived until a replacement is found. Will you be alone and bored all day? Maybe for a bit, but only until you make new friends.  Youll be okay. Start the handover process early Theres nothing worse than having to deal with something you really  arent across nor  informed about.  If youre the one who will have to look after their work when they leave, do an in-depth handover with them so youre not left in the lurch when they go. Failing to do this might make you resent them once their gone, which will undo so much great friendship. In depth handovers will  also help  you view their departure in a professional mindset, getting straight down to business. Reflect  on your own career Are you sad because theyre going, or because you have to stay? Your work friends shouldnt be the only things keeping you in your current job. Sometimes it takes a good colleague to leave, for you to realise that you wish that was you, and that indeed you should be next. On the flip-side, are you actually ready to step up now; perhaps take on more responsibility internally? Does them leaving present a great opportunity  for you to shine?  Use your colleagues departure  as positive inspiration to move forward in your own career in some way. Widen your internal network When one door closes, another one opens. Try not to wallow in self-pity when your work mate leaves instead, introduce yourself to new people within your company. Start going to after-work drinks again, or get involved with the companys charity  initiatives. Put yourself out there so you can find new friends. If youre feeling quite alone in the absence of your work friend, try talking to your boss about it. Maybe you actually need to make some new hires. Or maybe you can have some input into the hiring of their replacement? Avoid gossiping When people leave a workplace, often others feel the need to talk about it. Its only natural, and when youre in a big company, sometime people embellish things and create drama by repeating non-confirmed rumours or speculating about why they really left. Sometimes its like the floodgates open and people feel the need to bring up that persons history, analysing their work basically pulling them apart. Dont get involved. Stay loyal and stay positive. After all, theyre not even there to defend themselves. Listen to music Music has the ability to lift even the lowest of spirits. When your colleague leaves, it might feel particularly quiet. Without them next to you, talking to you and bouncing ideas off you, you might feel a little blue and anxious. Why not  try  popping your headphones in for a few hours to fill the silence? Perhaps just avoid James Blunt songs (particularly Goodbye My Lover, and its best to save Adeles Someone Like You  for another time as well). Book in a farewell lunch and keep in touch Dont forget to keep in touch with your colleague it doesnt have to be the end. You might even find you become better friends when you remove work from the equation. Book in a farewell lunch so you can have one last fun memory with them at work, and make sure you make the effort to check in with them when they start their new role. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.